If I am to segregate my life into parts of 7 years the period reveal an interesting turn of events when I look back at it. Come September 2017, I turn 35. Which means there has been 5 phases and each episode have had enough and more twists and turns. Episode 1 Honestly I can’t recollect what happened in phase I. The picture till age 7 is very vague. There could have been lot of events, but then what I can recollect are few moments while I was at preschool, an accident at the playground on the swings, the neighbor who used to pick up and drop in his Auto rickshaw, playing on terrace, riding Harry’s ride bicycle, Anu running round the house and trotting to the neighbor veliyappan’s house. Episode 2 There are many things that pop up into my head during this period. Till 14. The same veliyappan’s second daughter ran a local after school tutoring center. Lot of people send in their children there to get their home works done, or if they are working in late. I was a part of it too. I don’t remember either of my brothers going there. When I look back at it, there was lot of scolding, shouting, repeat of words from children, punishments, impositions and loud reading. To mug-up was what she taught because that probably was the learning method she would have went through in her childhood. Anyway, I used to get pass in class and my mother who came up with the idea of sending me there, seemed pleased with her. What a child would go through in that such a chaotic and disturbing chamber was not considered a topic to discuss 25 years ago. There was no child protection agency or child welfare society or other. It was all parents and children. I was the middle one among the 3 boys and I don’t usually create any ruckus or debate back on anything I was asked to do. Neither do I remember too much demanding. I used to wake up to the alarm just because of fear of being scolded or punished. I was on the path way out her house on my knees with gravel as cushion. I don’t remember pain on the skin, but my heart was wounded and disturbed. There would be relatives and next to kin walking in to my home any time and they could probably see me in that state. The very thought tormented me even now when I try to put myself into the state of that young boy. Me. The same women had a younger brother. The only boy for veliyappan, and I am not sure what was his story, but quite certain of his perverted mind set when he forcefully wanted my hands on his mid section while trying to create an environment where in he is keenly listening to my answers to what the query what was taught at school or atleast that was what I can recollect now. However, his horrid nature to me was very clear and I wouldn’t forget that. Dad was not around and I never knew what or how to talk to mom about it. I realize now that children needs to talked to regardless of what they would say or how much they understand. My elder brother Harrison is about 5 years older to me and Anson the younger one, about 4 years. Now it is a huge gap for children. I realize that now. Michelle my eldest child is about 4.5 years, Nathaniel the middle one is about 2.8 years and the youngest Abigael is about 14 months. Loy went through lot of struggle due to close pregnancy, but now we are happy and content. God has blessed us in his time and according to his plan. If there was a huge gap between children what if the same scenario of my life would repeat?? Right now, I can see Michelle helping Nathan with clothing or sometimes helps feeding him. She loves to take care of Abigael. So there is a bond right from their childhood which will help us parents on their up bringing. I had tried to forgive all my past in this episode, however at times some of them come back to poke me in the head. I don’t think it is completely forgotten, even though forgiven.

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